Not all conflicts can be averted.

Not all conflicts are disastrous.

When you accept these two truths, your approach to your communication will change.

If you build a conflict-liberal organization, you focus more on the real problem that needs to get resolved, rather than engaging into the fixed ways of managing the conflicts.

Conflict-liberal approach means that you do not believe that the conflict itself is a problem. Instead, you consider that as a tool to get the problem resolved.

And usually, what you believe is what you get, isn’t it so?

But if you are not conflict-liberal, you might consider conflict itself as a problem and focus your energies into making sure that YOU are RIGHT.

Do you want to prove that you’re right or get the problem resolved? Do you want to win the battle or the war?

See Also:

1. Profit from Conflicts!
2. I’m not a project manager. Why do I need to learn project management?
3. Prevent Your Project from Collapsing
4. Lionize Your Disagreements
5. In Corporate, Non-communication Equates to Crime…

1. Profit from Conflicts!
2. I’m not a project manager. Why do I need to learn project management?
3. Prevent Your Project from Collapsing
4. Lionize Your Disagreements
5. In Corporate, Non-communication Equates to Crime…

There are three friends. Tony, Fred and Peter. It’s a Saturday evening. Tony called the other two and proposed: Let’s go to eat out.

Here are the responses Tony got:

Fred’s response
This is Saturday evening. We shouldn’t go to eat out. There will be a lot of public and restaurants will not serve their best. Even on the roads there will be heavy headlights because there are more vehicles out. It would be difficult to drive. Although I don’t like cooking at home in the weekends, let’s eat some noodles at home. Sh… I don’t like noodles too but I don’t think there’s any other way. Going for eating out? Definitely not.

Peter’s response
On weekends more people go to eat out, many restaurants offer best of their foods – competition matters. Sure, some restaurants would not be able to keep pace and offer inferior foods on weekends maybe due to heavy footprints but we can skip those restaurants for today. What we need to do is to find one restaurant which offers food we like. Let’s go to eat out. I think we will have great time.

So Tony and Peter decided to eat out. Even if they would get less than great quality food, they would be happy for their effort.

Believe there are issues and you’ll find yourself into the realm of issues which possibly you can never resolve. Believe there are possibilities and you’ll find actions to deal with anything that comes your way.

Whatever you believe, you will find evidences to confirm it.

Much of what we get is based on how we interpret things. Whether we play the victim or find possibilities in the battles.

Even negative beliefs have power. It is given by you. You want to prove only what you believe is warranted. If someone counters you then you will discover 100 reasons to prove what you believe is the right thing to do.

Pause for a moment and ask yourself: What exactly do you get out of belief systems that keep you away from things you want to do?

You feel right. You feel justified. You feel reasonable. That’s it?

Now answer this question: What are you losing out of such negative belief systems that keep you away from doing the things you want to do?

Possibilities. Agility. Happiness. Joy…

Read and reflect on what Buddha said:

“Your worst enemy cannot harm you as much as your own unguarded thoughts.”

And answer these questions: What do you actually want? Feeling of righteousness or joy of doing the things you otherwise want to?

See Also:

1. What You Can Learn From a Difficult Boss
2. Why You Are Doing Whatever You Are Doing?
3. Mini Saga – Lights, Camera…Action!
4. Choose Your Delights!
5. The Problem With Not Getting Out of Safety Zone

1. What You Can Learn From a Difficult Boss
2. Why You Are Doing Whatever You Are Doing?
3. Mini Saga – Lights, Camera…Action!
4. Choose Your Delights!
5. The Problem With Not Getting Out of Safety Zone

Regardless of their country, religion, gender, popularity or the age, they all had one thing in common – a thrust for learning.

They had an attitude to lead the life, regardless of what comes in the way.

More to that, they had the courage to share with the world whatever they have learned from life for just one cause. Life-lessons that they have learned can be multiplied for the greater good of mankind.

You guessed it right.  I’m referring to the project called Life Lessons Series in which I participated in July-2010. The project was hosted by my friend and a cool blogger  - Abubakar Jamil.

The project was led by him and Farnoosh Brook of Prolific Living and participated by 108 personal-development bloggers who shared what they have learned from life in the form of blog posts.

People read them. People loved them. People shared them. People talked about them. People felt them. People learned from them. Not only that, it affected quality of people’s choices; it affected many lives positively.

To extend that experience, Abubakar and Farnoosh have collected select gems from the life-lessons as a free e-Book called The Best Self-reflections from 108 Bloggers.

Have a look an example of life-lesson from a fellow blogger Raam Dev.

Time is a currency that appreciates in value and simultaneously decreases in quantity over the course of your life. There are only a few things really worth spending time and money on in life. Read more

If you have learned anything significant from life experiences, then I’m sure you’ll learn something significant by reading this 23 page masterpiece.

See Also:

1. 7 Bloggers I Enjoy Reading Almost All The Times
2. Extended Wisdom from Life Lessons Series
3. Landmark Education Courses That Will Make Difference In Your Life
4. Seven Simple Ways to Start Making Your Life Better
5. Waiter vs. Grabber

1. 7 Bloggers I Enjoy Reading Almost All The Times
2. Extended Wisdom from Life Lessons Series
3. Landmark Education Courses That Will Make Difference In Your Life
4. Seven Simple Ways to Start Making Your Life Better
5. Waiter vs. Grabber

Photo Credit: alicepopkorn's Flickr photostream

1. is the secret to sanity;
2. can force anyone to slow down, think and act;
3. is a hardest argument to deal with;
4. keeps you out of gossiping;
5. is an awesome way to connect to the world which is not known to you otherwise – your subconscious mind.
6. is a noise easy to misinterpret.
7. equals effective listening and more;
8. is an integrity renovator;
9. heals almost any pain;
10. is full of potential wisdom;
11. is as deep as infinity;
12. is the rattling infinite of being;
13. is the true friend that never betrays ~ Confucius;
14. costs nothing;
15. is the source of great strength ~ Lao Tzu;
16. is right here in you, at every moment of your life;
17. it allows entire universe to be;
18. is one of the most powerful communication tool;
19. makes you learn more about the people around you;
20. most of us know how to use it but very few of us actually leverage it;
21. is the island of peace; so start leveraging it, right now!

Think of this scenario:

• You’re in your workplace or at home or out for holidays (read “Wherever you’re” here)
• Economy does not sound very exciting.
• You’re wondering (read ‘dreading’ here) how to meet targets, no one wants to buy what you have to sell!
• You’re fearing that the recent appraisal won’t turn into handsome increment.
• Your wife bespeakingly forces you to buy a new LCD 54″ Television.

Sounds similar?

Simple. Read and understand Benjamin Franklin’s this quote,

Joy is not in things; it is in us.

OK, got it.  But…

But How? I know that quotes are just to read and mostly out of understanding for common human beings. And I’m not extraordinary superhero. I’m just a stupid common man.

Well, here are the implementation tips:

Feel gratitude for what you have got from life: Find out top three wonderful things that you already have. Be thankful to the life that you have those things. These things can be any. May it be your skill, may it be your family, may it be the car that you purchased 2 years ago, anything. In fact, you’re shifting your focus from negative to positive. It is a small thing but it will have a big impact on your mood and it would be difficult for you not to feel felicitous.

Reverse Count for 20 to 1: One of the easiest and quickest stress relieving exercise. Here are the steps:

• Be relax and sit down with your legs apart. Your hands should be on your stomach.
• Start with 20. Breathe in.  Pause for a second.  Now Breathe out slowly through your nose.
• Go to 19. Again Breathe in. Pause for a second. Now breathe out slowly through your nose.
• Go to 18… Got the idea?

Now find where is the stress? Let me know if you are able to find it!

Take it easy: Whatever happens happens for good and nothing is perfect in this world. A gracious mood within you is more valuable than anything else. Do not take yourself very seriously, trust me, not anyone takes! Live the moment as it is the last hour of your life. Enjoy and cheer up.

Eat one bite at a time: No matter whether it is food or work, focus on only one item at a time. Work ‘on’ the task and not ‘in’ the task. English people has taught us a very good lesson. Divide and rule. Divide the task into smaller and manageable chunks and rule over it! The smaller the bite of the task, the better management possibility.

Seek for the hidden opportunity on the face of problem: There may be problems. There may be parts of the task that you don’t feel so cool about. One interesting thing about any problem is that is is the flip side ofopportunity! You give me a problem and I’ll show you at least one opportunity from it.

Remember, Problems are meant to teach us more empathy.

Here is how it works:

• It eliminates the negative impact of the problem.
• You feel energized about the image of results associated with the opportunity
• Guess what, now, stress is obliterated!

Whenever I encounter a problem I think, “There is an awesome thing about this problem!” Guess what, I am always able to find that awesome thing. That excites me tremendously and sources energy to kick the stress off.

Accept it: What if any of the above tips are not helping you to shake the negativity attached with the problem? Accept it! Tell yourself: “This is how I feel right now and I accept it!”

Huh? This sounds unreasonable and looks like I’m asking you to giving up. But, in fact, by acknowledging how you feel pro-actively to your conscious mind, you reduce the  emotional energy that is negatively associated with the problem. Complete your relationship with the problem. When you consciously know that you can’t do anything about it, you won’t feel stressed.

Have a cool and exciting stress relieving time!

All the best.

See Also:

1. A Better Way to Deal with Situations Worth Complaining About

1. A Better Way to Deal with Situations Worth Complaining About